


Favorite Things

by honorablementioned



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Assets & Handlers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Stalking, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 08:31:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5241671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honorablementioned/pseuds/honorablementioned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The blond asks if he can help <i>Bucky</i> with any of his things. The Asset declines, with a shake of his head, and tells Steve he's fine, but he wouldn't say no to him maybe grabbing a beer later if he's interested. </p><p>It's not a date, but he knows he has plenty of time for that soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Favorite Things

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky does not look like the Winter Soldier in this; no long hair, no metal arm.
> 
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Please enjoy. 8)

Steve Rogers belonged to the Asset, he just didn't know it yet.

What he does with his personal time is his own business. The Asset is always on call, alert, ready for his job at any moment, but his Handler has made it clear that so long as it doesn't get in the way of their line of work, he doesn't care to know how the Asset spends his hours off.

He rents out an apartment in Brooklyn. It's simple, stocked with the basics. He hides his sniper rifle in a compartment in the coffee table, a knife underneath his pillow, and a few small hand guns here and there. He's ready for any inconvenience, prepared and on his feet from the word 'go'. 

He meets Steve Rogers when he moves in.

Steve Rogers is scrawny; skin and bones. He wears black rimmed prescription glasses, tucked in flannel shirts with suspenders, too tight jeans, and has baby blue eyes to compliment his fluffed up blond hair. The Asset spots him immediately coming out of his apartment, right across the hall from where the Asset is moving into. 

He greets the Asset with a broad smile and deep voice, and the Asset is instantly smitten by the man. 

Steve Rogers introduces himself, and the Asset tells him to call him _Bucky_ , in an accent he has long since dropped. He gives Steve a grin of his own. He adores the way Steve gets red in the face so easily, it's on his top 5 list of favorite Steve things, ranking in at number 4.

The blond asks if he can help _Bucky_ with any of his things. The Asset declines, with a shake of his head, and tells Steve he's fine, but he wouldn't say no to him maybe grabbing a beer later if he's interested. 

It's not a date, but he knows he has plenty of time for that soon.

***

A few weeks in, the Asset has just gotten back from an assignment. He drags himself into his apartment from the window, showers the caked blood off of his skin, his hair, attempts to rid the memories of his latest shot the best he can. It doesn't bother him like it did when he first started, but it's still better if he can block them out completely.

He rinses and towels off, puts on sleep clothes and makes his way to his door to gather the newspapers that have piled there from his leave of the past few days.

The Asset sees Steve outside when he opens the door, giving a can of wet food to a stray cat. He looks up at the sound of the Asset's door and smiles.

Steve's smile is number 3 on his list of favorite things.

Steve asks him about his week, tells him nothing exciting has been going on aside from the usual neighbor bickering. The Asset frowns, asks him if someone has been bothering Steve, but the blond just shrugs it off. Brock from 2B has just been getting onto Steve about the strays hanging around and maybe has come onto him once or twice, but it's nothing he can't handle - _seriously Bucky_ , he says, _he's just an asshole, I can take care of it._

Two weeks later and no one's seen Brock Rumlow in days. He hasn't been back to his 2B apartment, hasn't paid the rent on time, and their complex manager reports it to police.

Steve tells Bucky about it, says he's worried. The Asset reassures Steve that Brock probably just got into trouble, he seems like the type from what Steve told him a couple weeks ago. _He's probably just skipped town_ , the Asset says.

It calms Steve down, if only a little, and the Asset falls asleep that night feeling content that he's managed to get the last lingering remains of blood out from his night shirt. 

***  
He finds out - officially from Steve himself, that is - that Steve's an artist when Steve invites him to his gallery opening.

 _Nothing big_ , Steve laughs. _You've been busy lately and we haven't had much of a chance to hang out, you know?_

The Asset feels warm, happy, and tells Steve he'll be there, because they haven't had much of a chance - aside from the beer his first night in, him and Steve have just said hello every other morning. Of course, the Asset doesn't count the cameras in Steve's room.

He has a job that afternoon and finishes as quickly and cleanly as he can. He dumps the body in the Hudson and freshens up just in time. His suit is free of any mess that might have been trailing and he styles his hair with a little slick right before he leaves the apartment.

Steve is there, in a grey suit and usual glasses, and looks stunning. The Asset immediately makes his way over, sneaks up behind Steve to whisper _If the show is in the other room, how is this fine piece of art right in front o' me?_

The flush is instant on Steve's face and the Asset is triumphant, confident. He and Steve walk through his show and he makes sure to comment on everything - doesn't stop at the paintings and charcoals, but let's Steve know his intentions fully well. The Asset isn't pushed away, if anything Steve leans against him more. Instinctively he rests his hand on the small of the blond's back.

They catch a cab together afterwards. Steve tells him about his future plans, gushes about being a portrait painter, though hints at always dreaming of being a storyboard artist. The Asset pays the fare and as soon as they step out of the car, they hear a scream.

Steve rushes to the alley a few buildings down. The Asset follows, pushing down the disappointment. There are 2 guys hassling a girl, and Steve steps between them. Shouts _Obviously she doesn't want your company, get outta here!_ They laugh, push him aside, and the Asset sees red.

He pushes at Steve and the girl, tells him to get her to safety. Steve almost protests _But Bucky-_ before the girl tugs on his arm and they're rushing away.

The Asset pulls a knife from the holster hidden under his jacket. The two guys gulp at the sight, but aren't fully convinced until the Asset has them both up against the brick wall of one of the buildings. 

Later on, the Asset meets Steve back at the apartment. He tries searching for any injuries just by seeing him, deems him okay, and chews him out for getting in that fight.

 _She needed help._ Steve would say. The Asset resists rolling his eyes, but leans into Steve and presses his cheek against the top of his head.

Steve's bravery is number 5 on his list. He loves that Steve doesn't let his size get in the way, loves that he helps in any way he can - it's also why he hates this quality, why it's low on the list. Steve isn't safe, or careful; he's fragile, regardless of his attitude, and it kills the Asset to think of the worst.

 _You're a punk._ He tells him. Steve smiles, looks down bashfully, whispers _jerk_ right back.

The next day the two guys are found in an alley several blocks away, with their throats slashed and their wallets emptied. Bruises stain their faces; the newspaper reports it as a mugging gone wrong. 

Steve doesn't get his paper that morning.

**

The first time the Asset kisses Steve Rogers, he's just gotten orders for his next assignment.

He's nearly suited up, cloaked in black and masked. He can hear Steve coughing across the hallway, knows the blond is sick again with God only knows what. The Asset thinks the flu, but possibly worse after researching Steve's medical history. He waits until the last second, when the coughing is gone and he can hear the gentle wheeze of his breath, before he picks the lock. 

He makes no sound as he stalks across the one bedroom flat. He takes in his surroundings - the floor plan is the same as his own, there are paintings on every wall, barely any furniture. He notes the television is on, muted, and sees the shadow of a figure on the couch.

The Asset peers at Steve sleeping soundly. Tissues and cold medicine and a few prescription bottles are askew along the coffee table and floor, and a thin blanket is draped over Steve. The Asset sighs mentally, carefully pulling another blanket from the back of the couch to lay over the blond, and leans forward. 

Regardless of his desire, he knows it's dangerous. The Asset presses a kiss to the top of Steve's forehead - clammy, with a broken fever - and retreats quicker than when he came. 

**  
_What do you do for work?_ Steve asks one day. 

_I work for the government,_ the Asset says. _A lot of traveling and boring business stuff._

 _My friend Natasha does something like that,_ Steve laughs. _She's so secretive, I think she could be a spy, maybe._

 _Maybe,_ the Asset muses. _Never know Stevie, I could be one._

 _Would you tell me?_ He asks.

The Asset grins and laughs. _Can't go 'round tellin' people, Stevie. We'd be shit spies if we told everyone our secrets._

**  
Steve is in the hospital 3 days later.

It’s an asthma attack - nothing serious, nothing that the Asset hasn’t already read on Steve’s medical file, but it’s still something that’s bad enough to get him into the ER. 

He’s panicking, he knows he is, but it’s Steve - it’s Steve in a hospital bed, Steve hooked up to IVs and in a gown and he looks so pitiful and small and _unprotected_. 

The Asset is quiet when he gets to the hospital, quiet when he sees Steve talking to the nurse, and quiet when the discharge forms are handed over. Steve doesn’t talk to him, either, and the Asset thinks that’s good - good because he doesn’t want to hear the blond’s excuses right now, can’t hear them.

They drive back to the complex, still silent. Steve’s fiddling with his new prescription, tucking it inside his jacket pocket, and all the Asset thinks is _you should have had that there to begin with_.

And it’s Steve who breaks the silence when they get to their respective apartments. It’s Steve, who looks up at the Asset, with a small smile, a big heart, and calloused hands that tug the Asset down so a kiss can be pressed to his cheek.

 _Thank you_ , he says. He sounds happy, maybe relieved. _I know you’re angry, and I know it was stupid of me not to have my inhaler. But_ \- he lets his grip tighten on the Asset’s jacket, tugs him forward so he can press his face against his chest - _I’m okay, it’s okay._

The Asset automatically puts his arms around Steve’s small frame. He looks down at him and he still sees _small_ and _unprotected_ , but he also sees _precious_ and _mine_ , and he swallows hard.

 _You’re okay_ , he parrots back to Steve, keeps his hold tight. He thinks that he needs to install new cameras, maybe a tracking chip, because this feeling of helplessness he has isn’t okay, not at all. He’s crumbling, he realizes, from this man, from wanting - _needing_ \- him safe. The Asset needs to do right.

 _Are we okay?_ Steve tilts his head up, looking at the Asset again. He wants to say no, wants to yell at Steve and lock him away so he always has reassurance, but he doesn’t. He says, _Course we are, Stevie_ , and quirks his lips into a small smile.

**

The Asset is rarely called into train newcomers - it’s all done outside of the US, less traceable and more convenient for their courses. It’s a little inconvenient for him, though he doesn’t argue with Pierce about the commute. 

He doesn’t say anything to Steve - he _can’t_ , because what would he say? _Sorry, going out of the country for only God knows how long_. He huffs a laugh at that, knowing how well that would go over.

He does tell the complex manager, gives them the next month’s rent and a little extra. He does leave a note on Steve’s door, with his chicken scratch handwriting. 

_Be gone for a few weeks for work, don’t worry. Be safe, punk. - Bucky_

**  
He’s gone for a month.

He makes it all the way back to his complex, but stops in front of Steve’s door. It’s been weeks, feels like months. He’s gross and knows he has blood everywhere on himself, under his suit and jacket, but he stands there. Lingering, just for a few moments, before he rests his forehead against the cool surface and breathes for the first time in 30 days.

The Asset hasn’t let himself think of Steve Rogers since he left. He knows he’s grown too attached, knows he’s stepped over a boundary, and registers that he has let himself grow _weak_ for caring about someone else so much, for the first time in a long while. It does nothing to help, only hinders.

Yet, he lets his gloved fingertips trace over the door handle, lets his eyes close for a second, and thinks of Steve Rogers and his warm smile, his bright eyes, his care and his stubbornness and everything that makes him the opposite of the Asset. 

Then - he can hear footsteps, feels the handle turning under his fingers. He doesn't panic, doesn't go for his dagger or the gun strapped to the inside of his jacket. He stands there and waits for the door to open, to see Steve standing there, wearing plaid pj pants and a worn shirt and the angriest expression the Asset has ever seen on a man.

The Asset is being pulled inside and the door slams shut behind him. He doesn’t have a moment to speak before Steve is landing a smack against the right side of his face. It’s not a kiss, like the last time, but it still packs a Hell of a punch that has the Asset looking down in disbelief.

 _Where_ \- Steve starts, balling his hands into fists - _Where do you get off disappearing like that?!_ He shouts, and pushes at the Asset’s chest. _You’ve been gone a month! A MONTH! One note, no calls, not even a damned letter in the mail_ \- He keeps pushing, corners the Asset against a wall - _And you expect me to be fine with it? I didn’t know what happened to you! You said for work, but I don’t even know what your work is! You could have been killed, Bucky! And I wouldn’t have known!_

Steve is shaking, harder than the Asset’s ever seen. He wants to reach out, wants to hold him, and it’s the worst possible time for him to try because Steve is angry with him, _at_ him, and he’ll probably just be pushed back again. 

He so tired, so worn out. He lets Steve keep yelling and lets himself take whatever Steve has to say because he deserves it. He left Steve and wasn’t here to keep him safe. He’s hurt Steve so much. He’s become so weak and hindered and everything is _broken_.

 _You’re right_ is all he can croak out, when Steve pauses in his rant. He gives a broken laugh. _You’re right, you shouldn’t - you shouldn’t be fine with it_. 

_You’re damn right I shouldn’t!_ Steve grabs a fistful of his jacket, glaring up at him. _I was -- I was so worried, Bucky! You can’t -- you can’t just do that!_

The Asset wants to tell Steve that he can, he has to, because he can’t say goodbye to Steve. He can’t tell him where he’s going and can’t tell him goodbye because it might be the last time, knowing what he does. But he just nods his head and tries not to waver. He’s trying.

It’s quiet, for a few moments. Steve is breathing harshly, not enough for his inhaler, but he’s leaning on the Asset’s chest instead of gripping. He looks down, then up, and down again before putting his arms around the Asset’s middle.

 _You can’t do that again, okay?_ It’s mumbled against the fabric, but the Asset makes it out. And he nods, he keeps nodding and doesn’t trust himself to say anything. His arms loosely wrap back around Steve and leans down to bury his face against Steve’s shoulder. He can feel Steve crying, the tears rubbing and staining his own cheeks just barely, and holds him a bit tighter.

Steve’s forgiveness is his 2nd favorite thing.

**  
The Asset doesn’t call it dating, but he doesn’t call them just friends anymore.

Steve doesn’t let him out of his sight after that night. He asks the Asset if he’d like to have dinner with him, if he’d like to see a movie over at his place, if he wouldn’t mind helping Steve with some of his projects.

And the Asset agrees every time, because he doesn’t want to be away from Steve again. He keeps replaying in his mind all the wrong scenarios, tells himself that he’s already too attached, _why is he making it worse? Why is he only furthering his torture? He doesn’t deserve any of this._

He feels a little more human every day with Steve, and it’s scary, but also excites him. He tries very hard never to have a breakdown in front of Steve again - still small and fragile and everything good with the world. 

He still keeps his work hidden, still tells him it’s government stuff. He knows one day it’s not going to be this way. He might snap, they might know, he’ll lose Steve. 

He takes down the cameras, doesn’t get a tracking device, and keeps his missions as short as possible.

Steve Rogers didn’t belong to the Asset. The Asset belonged to Steve Rogers. He might have always known.

That was his favorite thing, and he wants to keep it that way for as long as possible.


End file.
